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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought filming a clip now and then would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?